| Pathan Proposing | |
| Pathan proposing a girl...hi darling kya mujse shadi kro ge. girl...tameez say baat kro pathan. Aslam.o.Alaikum baji kya mujse shadi kro ge. | |
| Last chance | |
| During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom is made to sit on the horse? He is given his last chance to run away. | |
| Perfect birthday gift! | |
| A husband and wife were shopping at a mall. After some shopping the wife said, “Darling, its my mother’s birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric.” The husband replied, “How about a chair??” | |
| Does you dog bites? | |
| A man was sitting near a dog. Another man appeared there and asked the first man Does your dog bites? Man: No The second man sits and the dog bites him! Second man angrily: “You said it does not bites!” Man: “This is not my dog.” | |
| It really works | |
| The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled thinking It really works! | |
| Shaadi Ka Khat | |
| Pathan : Maine khat likha tha ke meri Shaadi per Aana, tum kyun nahi aye? 2nd Pathan : Mujhay khat mila he nahi. 1st Pathan : Maine likha tha, khat milay ya na milay tum zaroor aana. | |
| Shaadi eMail Se Bhi Hoti Hai | |
| Ek American ne Sardar se kaha "Hamaray yahan Shaadi email se bhi hoti hai" is per Sardar bola "Kamaal hai hamaray yahan toh sirf female se hoti hai" | |
| Meri Toh Behan Hai | |
| Sardar going with his Sister, Someone shouts "Girlfriend leker kahan chalay" Sardar gets furious & slap him & says "Oye Girlfriend hogi teri...meri toh behan hai. | |
| Jawani Aur Burhapa | |
| Teacher : Jawani aur Burhapay main farak batao? Student : Jawani mein mobile main larkiyo ke numbers hotay hain aur Burhapay main hakeemo ke. | |
| Bijli Chali Gaye | |
| Dil jisko dia woh delhi chali gaye, Pyaar jisko kia woh italy chali gaye, Phir dil ne socha, khudh khushi kar k dekhai, Hath Switch mein dia toh Bijli chali gaye. | |
| Pathan Gets Money | |
| Pathan : Ya Allah tu mujhay 100 rupay dega toh main 50 teri rah mein donga, Rastay main pathan ko zameen se 50 rupay milay toh woh bola "Ya Allah itna bhi bharoosa nahi ke pehlay he kaat liye" | |
| 1 KG Dhoodh | |
| Sardar milk shop per jaker 1 kilo bhains ka dhoodh de do, Shopkeeper : Tumhara bartan chota hai. Sardar : Acha phir aisa karo, bakri ka he de do. | |
| Main Bara Hoke Pilot Banonga | |
| Ali : Mama main bara hoke Pilot banonga Mamma : Beta mujhay kaise pata chalega ke ye mere betay ka jahaz hai? Ali : Guzarte waqt apnay gher per Gola phaink dia karonga. | |
| Mother Tongue | |
| A sardar was helping his son in filling his admission form, Son asked to Sardar "Baapu mother tongue walay box main kya likhna hai?" Sardar : Likh de puttar "Very Long" | |
| Online Banking | |
| TECH: Hello, Friendly Internet. May I help you? CUSTOMER: Oh, hello young man. I was wondering if you offer online banking? TECH: We're an Internet service provider, ma'am. You can certainly use our service to connect to online banking. CUSTOMER: What do I need to do that? TECH: You just need the modem in your computer. That plugs into a phone jack. Sign up for an account, and sign up for online banking with your bank. CUSTOMER: But where does the money come out? TECH: I'm not sure I understand? CUSTOMER: You know...Does the money come out from that slot on the computer? | |
| Millionaire | |
| A woman proudly told her friend, "I'm responsible for making my husband a millionaire." "Well what was he before he married you?" the friend asked. "A billionaire." | |
| Talking Too Much | |
| Eight-year-old Nina brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good...mostly A's and a couple of B's. However, her teacher had written across the bottom: "Nina is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in school. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit." Nina's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back: "Please let me know if your idea works on Nina because I would like to try it out on her mother." | |
| Easy Eggs | |
| One Sunday morning, while stationed at Osan Air Base in South Korea, I was in line for breakfast and noticed that the cook behind the counter looked kind of harassed. After I gave him my order, he asked me how I wanted my eggs. Not wanting to burden him further, I said cheerfully, "Oh, whatever is easiest for you." With that, he took two eggs, cracked them open onto my plate and handed it back to me. | |
| Wake Up! | |
| A teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!" | |
| Businessman | |
| A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines." | |
| Innocent Girl | |
| A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework." | |
| Who Is Stupid? | |
| A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" | |
| Dead Bird | |
| Atif and Goher were walking along the beach. Suddenly, Goher says, "Aww, Atif, look at the dead bird." Atif looks up at the sky and says, "Where?" | |
| Stop Sign | |
| A policeman pulled over a car, walked up to the driver's window, and asked the man if he knew why he was pulled over. "No," the man replied. "You failed to stop at the stop sign," the cop explained. "But I did slow down!" the guy argued. The cop shook his head. "You are required to stop. That's why they're called stop signs." The man started to get belligerent. "Stop, slow down -- what's the difference?" The cop pulled out his baton. "I can show you. I'm going to start hitting you with my baton. You tell me if you want me to stop or slow down." | |
| Back To School | |
| Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," she said. "I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved." | |
| A Mental Hospital | |
| After hearing that one of the patients in a mental hospital had saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of a bathtub, the hospital director reviewed the rescuer's file and called him into his office. "Mr. Haroldson, your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you're ready to go home. I'm only sorry that the man you saved later killed himself with a rope around the neck." "Oh, he didn't kill himself," Mr. Haroldson replied. "I hung him up to dry." | |
| Eye Surgery | |
| While my friend was working as a receptionist for an eye surgeon, a very angry woman stormed up to her desk. "Someone stole my wig while I was having surgery yesterday," she complained. The doctor came out and tried to calm her down. "I assure you that no one on my staff would have done such a thing," he said. "Why do you think it was taken here?" "After the operation, I noticed the wig I was wearing was cheap-looking and ugly." "I think" explained the surgeon gently, "that means your cataract operation was a success." | |
| Feel Better Now | |
| Mary was having a tough day and had stretched herself out on the couch to do a bit of what she thought to be well-deserved complaining and self- pitying. She moaned to her mom and brother, "Nobody loves me ... the whole world hates me!" Her brother, busily occupied playing a game, hardly looked up at her and passed on this encouraging word: "That's not true, Mary. Some people don't even know you." | |
| You've Got Mail | |
| A man was sitting on his porch one afternoon when he noticed that his neighbor, a blonde, went out to her mailbox, opened it, and returned to her home empty handed. About five minutes later, he saw the blonde again. She checked the mailbox and once again, returned to her house empty handed. She did this two more times before the man decided to ask her about it. "Why do you keep coming out to your mailbox every five minutes?" the man asked. "Because," replied the blonde, "my computer keeps telling me that I've got mail!" | |
